How To Get Your Girl To Kiss When You Smell Like Oil And Other Answers

Hello, delightful word-readers! Have I told you how, collectively, I think Jalopnik has one of the best, smartest, and, let's be honest, assumed attractive readerships around? I'll stand by that, and I'll prove it with my tangelo-sized fists if I have to. So let's see what kinds of questions our wonderful readers have… » 12/19/14 9:30pm Friday 9:30pm

This Rambler American Hot Rod Is Everything Right About Hot Rods

Like so many things that once started as unique, very personal creations, many Hot Rods have now become things that fit rigidly into certain categories of design and construction. There's strict rules for what is, say, a Rat Rod or what constitutes a 'true' T-Bucket. Tom Jennings' Rambler doesn't follow these rules,… » 12/19/14 5:30pm Friday 5:30pm

This Jag Pickup Will Haul Your Garbage Cans Full Of Foie Gras

Back when Ford was puppet master to Jaguar, there were persistent rumors that a Jag SUV based on a Ford platform was coming. So it's not too huge a leap to imagine that someone, somewhere considered the idea of a Jag truck. Well, someone somewhere actually did more than that, since this Jag F-150 exists.… » 12/19/14 2:40pm Friday 2:40pm

Dopey Old Couple Almost Dies After 13 Hours Trapped In Unlocked Mazda 

An older New Zealand couple almost died after being inside their new Mazda 3 for 13 hours because they couldn't figure out how to exit the car. This was very close to being an actual tragedy, and one that could have been prevented by — and this is where you cringe — pulling the door handle. » 12/18/14 2:54pm Thursday 2:54pm

Will Cuba's Cars Need Protecting Now That Cuba Is About To Open?

I was actually very excited to hear the announcement that relations with Cuba would be normalized, for two reasons, neither of which involve cigars. First, my dad was born and raised in Cuba, and second, Cuba has one of the most interesting car ecosystems on the planet. But I'll be honest — I'm a little worried about… » 12/18/14 1:15pm Thursday 1:15pm

VW Invented First-Person Racing Video Games And They Don't Even Know It

You'd think the development of what is likely the first computerized driving simulator with actual computer-generated visuals would be a big deal. An achievement like that would have set the standard for not just simulators, but would have been the genesis of every first-person driving game since. Which is why it's so… » 12/18/14 12:00pm Thursday 12:00pm

South Dakota Students Can't Stop Fucking And Driving

South Dakota is a big, mostly empty state. That means if you're, say, a student at the University of South Dakota, you'll likely have a long, boring drive back home. And, if you're like 33% of male students (and 9% of female) you may kill some of that boredom by getting all sexytime while you drive. » 12/17/14 5:23pm Wednesday 5:23pm

A Very Common Word Was Invented By Dodge 

Dodge is known for producing many things, most notably cars, minivans, and sometimes large, lingering clouds of tire smoke. Oh, and the K-Car. But one thing I didn't realize was that they're also in the word business, coining an extremely common word way back in the 1910s. That word? Come on, you know I'm gonna make… » 12/16/14 9:35pm Tuesday 9:35pm

The Price Of A Maybach Has Dropped 56%

Crazy Wilhem is having a Back-In-Business Blowout! Yes, Maybach is back (sort of) and they've announced pricing: $166,676 (€134,100). That's a steal compared to the previous incarnation of the Maybach, which started around $381,342 (well, $344,000 in 2009 dollars). Holy crap! At these prices, you lose money not buying… » 12/15/14 1:50pm 12/15/14 1:50pm

Stupid Ad Shows Idiot Cramming Bags In a 911 Engine To Sell Luggage

Hey! Hey you! Idiot up there in the ad for Golla luggage! The one with your suspenders down like you just finished taking a really taxing crap? The one about to load his new expensive luggage into the engine of that Porsche? Yes, you. You're an idiot. A big dumb idiot who's about to get his clothes mulched. » 12/15/14 9:15am 12/15/14 9:15am

Sony Leak: Jerry Seinfeld Helps Sony Exec Build Porsche-Powered VW Bus

The massive leak of Sony Pictures emails and information is full of all kinds of embarrassing, unpleasant stuff. But it's not all bad. In fact, some of it is downright beautiful, like this exchange between Sony Pictures Television President Steve Mosko and Jerry Seinfeld about putting a Porsche 911 engine in a '70 VW… » 12/12/14 2:30pm 12/12/14 2:30pm

What Car Should You Buy? Take This Quiz

Selecting and buying a new car isn't easy. That's why, before resorting to the traditional but unreliable method of reading otter entrails, we at Jalopnik would like to invite you to try using this quiz, which harnesses the power of the Jalopnik Mainframe (located in Dale Earnhardt, Jr's Sex Bunker) to use math and… » 12/12/14 12:35pm 12/12/14 12:35pm

Late-Night Challenge: Make An 8x8 Pixel Car!

The other day I happened to have an old video game console on, playing a racing game, and the actual little sprite used for the car caught my eye. It was so primitive and basic, but still undeniably a car. All in an 8x8 grid. That's an amazing artistic feat. So let's see if we can give it a shot! » 12/11/14 10:02pm 12/11/14 10:02pm

Meet The East German Beetle-Based Supercar With Better Aero Than Tesla

East Germany certainly built cars, but their particularily grey and grim brand of Communism wasn't really conducive to making them fun. Sure, I think a Trabant or a Wartburg is pretty cool now, but if that's all I had to pick from in 1970s East Berlin, I bet I'd sing a different tune. There was one big, weird exception » 12/11/14 8:00pm 12/11/14 8:00pm

BMW To Phase Out Combustion Engines In 10 Years: Report

I'll let everyone take a moment to clean their spit-take'd screens while I explain more about that report. The report in question is Baron Funds most recent quarterly report, and this 10-year death-watch for the evergreen internal-combustion engine comes directly from their analysts, after a visit to BMW's facilities. » 12/11/14 4:04pm 12/11/14 4:04pm